Sacrifices

It's been nearly three weeks. Three weeks of bed rest. Three weeks to think, to worry, to question, to dream, to cry, to smile, to be angry, to be grateful and just about every possible emotion on the spectrum. It's tough to be still when someone tells you have to. It's tough to depend on other people to help with even the basics. But you do it, because you're making a sacrifice.

"Sacrifice" - surrendering or giving up something for the sake of something else. I think this time in bed has defined the word "sacrifice" for me. I mean, when have I really had to give up something, selflessly? Yeah, there's the gives and takes of marriage, and silly New Year's resolutions, but I've never had to be in the position where what I do or don't do could effect the health, safety, well-being, and maybe even lives of two other human beings. That sounds like a real sacrifice. Giving up a few weeks of my freedom in hopes of delivering two healthy baby boys is really a no-brainer. 

It really makes me think of the Bible and how often we read about God loving us so much that he sent His son to die for us. A true sacrifice. I've  always struggled with understanding the love of God and I've always hoped that when we had kids of our own it would make a little more sense. Parents love their children unconditionally, the way we are told God loves us, but how could I have ever understood this not having been a parent?

And even though I'm still not quite there, I think I've actually been getting a little taste of this unconditional love and the sacrifices that parents are so willing to make for their children just by laying here in bed - the love of and sacrifices for the babies that aren't even born yet. And that blows my mind.